Introducing Five Fic Fridays

I read fic every day. Awesome fic. Fic that doesn't make it on my "Fic I Stalk My Box For" list, not because it doesn't rock, but for various other reasons (e.g., they are one-shots, they are complete, or because the list would be very long if I maintained a complete list of every fic that is pwning me!)

Enter Five Fic Fridays. Every Friday, I'll let you in on five fics that I started or finished reading that week that made me love being a fic fiend. Some will be new, many will be older, but all of them will be fics I read and reviewed that week. Here are this week's picks:

Definition by RosaleeLorraine (AU/AH/M/WIP): You may have noticed I tweeted about this once or twice :) IMO, this is one of the most underrated fics in the fandom. The plot is simple: Edward (a member of a successful band) comes across a deeply troubled letter tucked into a little nook on the band's tour bus. The letter reveals the hidden thoughts and feelings of a band mate who is clearly in trouble. Edward identifies with this mystery person, because he, too, feels misunderstood and alone and they begin to correspond via secret letter. This fic does an amazing job of conveying relationship, suspense, and emotion, all within the context of two people who never actually see or speak with each other (yet!). It is a well-crafted story and a delicious mindfuck :)

Breathe by Adair7 (AU/M/BxExJ/One-shot): Great little fic that speculates on how Jasper would really handle all of the UST between Bella and Edward, given his gift (or burden, depending how you look at it) of empathy. High-quality one shot with the twist of lemon you know I love!

The Baker's Magic Buns by ciaobella27 (AU/AH/Canon Pairings/One-shot): What if all our favorite Twilight characters were characters from a mother goose nursery rhyme? Better yet, what if Bella were the town shrink, helping all the characters in fairy tale land deal with their strange neuroses? This fic is fun and lighthearted, and maintains impressive fidelity to the fairy tale style. PERFECT if you've got the blues from reading too much angst.

Girl with a Red Umbrella (AU/AH/ExB/WIP) by Spanglemaker and Justaskalice: Call me crazy, but I figured if you put the authors of "Kissed the Girls and Made Them Cry" and "Faking It" together, they'd come up with something pretty spectacular, and they did with GwaRU. It's set in Paris with an extremely convincing portrayal of the city (did I mention that I love Paris?). Bella drops everything to go there and search for Rose, her best friend from the U.S. who has mysteriously disappeared during her year studying abroad. Bella enlists the help of Rose's roommate (Alice) to solve the mystery. Edward is a painter who notices Bella from afar before they meet in a different setting.

Tie Me Down to This World by Struck Upon a Star (AU/AH/JxA): The recommendation on Twigasm (where I heard about this fic) was qualified with "Even if you don't usually read Jalice, you have to read this one." So I did, and it has been worth the ride. In this fic, Alice and Jasper are the victims of separate accidents and meet while recovering at the same rehab hospital. They are so severely injured that they are bedridden for months. Their beds are in neighboring rooms and they begin talking between the thin walls. This fic is angsty, because their accidents are surrounded by dark circumstances and because, while the "anonymous" friendship in the hospital is safe, the concept of a friendship in the outside world is threatening.

So...what are you reading this week?

Support Twilight Fandom Gives Back!

I know what you’re thinking: you can’t afford to give right now. Not when your investment accounts just took a double-digit nosedive. Not when you might lose (or have already lost) your job. Not when the future of the economy seems so uncertain.

Trust me—I feel your pain. My net worth is falling. I did get laid off. And, nowadays, I don’t even check my bank account without a stiff drink in one hand and a good mood in the other.

Here's the thing, though. There are people for whom a little bit of your money could go a long way. And if you have hours a week to read fanfic, while away time on Twitter, and read blogs and fan sites like mine, chances are you've got it pretty good.

Even if you can only give a little, even if childhood cancer has never touched your life, even if you have reached or surpassed your planned giving for 2009, please follow the leadership of Ninapolitan, Lolashoes and tby789, who are organizing Twifans everywhere to raise money for this great cause on behalf of our generous fandom!

To learn more about the cause, and to help the Twilight Fandom reach a $10,000 fundraising goal, visit the Twilight Fandom Gives Back page on the Alex's Lemonade Stand Foundation web site.

What passage, plot twist or literary crime in the Twilight Series do you absolutely love to hate?

Have you ever heard of anything so hilariously repulsive it made you pee your pants laughing and projectile vomit, all at the same time?

Two weeks ago, I was chatting with Sassenach Wench about the disaster that was "Breaking Dawn". She was graciously listening (again) to my requisite rant about how Stephenie Meyer should be stoned for her sorry excuse for a honeymoon scene, when SW reminded me of a passage so repulsive, so vile, so OOC, as to be uproarious and offensive and nauseating, all at once. She then pointed me to said passage, which appears on p. 723 in "Breaking Dawn" from Bella's point of view. Jacob is taking Renesmee to safety and Edward and Bella are saying goodbye:

"You're the only one I could ever trust her with," I murmured to him. "If you didn't love her so much, I could never bear this. I know you can protect her, Jacob."

He whined again, and dipped his head to butt it against my shoulder.

"I know," I whispered, "I love you too, Jake. You'll always be my best man."

A tear the size of a baseball rolled into the russet fur beneath his eye.

Edward leaned his head against the same shoulder where he'd placed Renesmee.

"Goodbye, Jacob, my brother...my son."

After I caught my breath from laughing, assured my husband that I wasn't having a seizure, and regained the ability to type, SW and I chatted on about the horrible--horrible--crimes of character and (what should have been) canon committed by SM.

The one above is my new favorite passage from the Twilight series that I love to hate. My question for you: what's yours?

Mayo Clinic's List of 8 Drug Addiction Symptoms says...I AM addicted to fic!

I have suspected for years now that I was addicted to fanfiction, but now that I've actually started a blog that depicts drug paraphernalia on the banner, I figured it couldn't hurt to find out for sure. I consulted the Mayo Clinic's List of 8 Drug Addiction Symptoms and here's how I stack up:

1. Feeling that you have to use the drug regularly — this can be daily or even several times a day (<--check)
2. Failing in your attempts to stop using the drug (<--check)
3. Making certain that you maintain a supply of the drug (<--check. That's what the "print" function on Twilighted is for. I don't go on vacation without printing at least 500 pages of fic to PDF)
4. Spending money on the drug even though you can't afford it (<--does reading fic when I should be looking for a job count?)
5. Doing things to obtain the drug that you normally wouldn't do, such as stealing (<--no stealing...but who knows what I would do if this shit wasn't free?)
6. Feeling that you need the drug to deal with your problems (<--check. When I read certain fics, all is right in the world)
7. Driving or doing other risky activities when you're under the influence of the drug (<--check. I never go for a drive longer than 20 minutes without at least one Twigasm podcast on my iPod)
8. Focusing more and more time and energy on getting and using the drug (<--double check!)

Alright, your turn. Stand up and tell us if you're an addict! And, don't be shy. We understand...

I love you, Rpattz--but, your hotness is circumstantial.

Is it any wonder, then, that I prefer Edward to you? Edward smells fantastic, is twenty kinds of sexy, speaks with that smooth, deep voice, and (based on what I've had to surmise given SM's borderline criminal omission of detail) is devastatingly well-hung.

Sure, your true eye color is much better than that of Edward. Your English accent is endearing, and you clean up real nice for photo shoots. But the hobo clothes and the unwashed mop? Not quite panty-droppers.

But, here's the real question--how do other guys pull off the hobo look while you (sorry to break it to you) fail?

I considered this question while chatting with helena_handbasket about something that's about to happen in a little BxE fic I'm writing. Bella and Edward are headed to a Foo Fighters show and she will find herself overwhelmed by the fuck-tastic hotness of being in the same room as Edward and Dave Grohl.

Dave Grohl...now that's a guy who can pull of the hobo look. Despite the flannel shirts and the fact that he doesn't shave sometimes for months it seems, he always manages to look clean and yum-diggety.

Maybe my blog followers can give you some pointers on sprucing yourself up a little? I know things with Kstew are hot and heavy now, but the honeymoon's gotta end at some point...

(hint to non-Rpattz readers, which means all of you: how is it that Dave Grohl pulls it off but Rob doesn't? Isn't it our duty as his fans to help him out?)

I remember the fic that turned me...

The year was 1998, I was 19 years old, and obsessed with Dawson's Creek. My first laptop--a little Toshiba for school--was as heavy as a brick. Instead of schlepping it to class or lugging it around the city, it stayed in my tiny apartment, on my bed. On a 56k modem connection, I surfed the (then-novel) internet with fascination, until one day, I found "Popcorn".

"Popcorn", by Kate Andrews, was the gold standard of Dawson's Creek fanfic. It had solid writing, smart dialog, and a simple, but engaging, plot. It successfully juggled love triangles, UST, and smut. It was well-portioned, each chapter giving enough to both satisfy and entice. Most importantly, it gave the hearts of the characters deserving redemption where the real show jumped the shark.

In the ten years that followed, I chased that first high through the only shows that held my interest. The West Wing gave me masterpieces by Candle Beck and Luna. Prison Break gave delicious naughties by Nika and Claire de Lune.

In February, a friend recommended The Twilight Series the night before I headed out on a month-long vacation. On her recommendation, I picked up Twilight at SFO. I was already so into it by the time I landed in Detroit, that I picked up New Moon at DTW. By the time my plane landed in Amsterdam some hours later, I was halfway through Twilight and knew I would blaze through New Moon. I paid a pretty Euro at AMS to own Eclipse and Breaking Dawn. I went on to finish all four in two weeks' time.

I know I'm not the only one who hated Stephenie Meyer's endings. IMO, the books jumped the shark somewhere during New Moon. After the lame honeymoon on Isle Esme and the vampire battle that didn't happen in Breaking Dawn, I ran--not walked--to find the fanfic.

So now I'm back to feeding my habit, my addiction strengthened by the quality of the drug. I invite you who are as far gone as I am to share your funnies, your recs, and tales of shameless addiction!

Green Puma (The Original Fic Fiend)